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:) happy december. happy world aids day.
16 more days till...... (drum roll please) CHRISTMASSSs!!!!!! yay. im so happy!! team dinner tomorrow, i hope my friends go :) so anyways. i wanna make this a long post but i dunno what to talk about. hmmm..
my sister's such a weirdo. 8-)

my sister's playing this game on the computer:
take THAT computer!
HA.
HA.
HA.
*pop*
*pop*
(few seconds later)
OH YAH I WON. HAHA COMPUTER.
HEHEHEHE.
(and she does this movement with her hands)

her art teacher says talking to yourself is a first sign of madness. i TOTALLY agree ;)
***

how do i tell you i'm sorry? how do i tell you what my heart is really feeling right now...how do i tell you that i still care? how do i tell you i still love you.. how do i tell you that i never wanted us to be apart, how do i tell you that i never ever wanted you to be hurt or sad.. i never wanted anything to come between us. i need you here right beside me, telling me its okay, like you've always done before. i'm sorry that i never fully appreciated what you've done for me all these years. i'm sorry that i've neglected you so many times and never even knew what i did wrong. i'm sorry for the times that i haven't been there for you when you needed me the most.. i'm sorry for the mistakes i've made, i'm sorry for not picking you up when you were on the ground. i'm sorry for taking you for granted, i never knew things would end up this way... sorry for blaming you all of those times, sorry for picking out all your flaws when really, i should have noticed who you really were. i'm sorry i never told you everything that was on my mind. i needed us to know each other, understand each other. i thought i'd never have to go through the pain of losing you... i guess i was wrong..

i can't help it if your the only one i need right now. my heart is full with unsaid apologies, the regret i feel could fill the deepest seas. i can't help it if i don't know how to go on without you.. i can't help it when i thought that when i've lost everything, you'll always be the one there for me, even when the whole world walks away... i can't help that i hoped there would always be one person that'd believe in me and understand me... i can't help remembering those happy times when it was just me and you, and nothing could ever come between us... and missing the times we'd have the same thoughts and same emotions... and missing everything about you and me.
missing what used to be, missing what we used to have.... i miss the times when i was down, and i woke up in the morning thinking, at least i have you.. i miss the times when we'd laugh about the silliest things, i miss the times when we'd get mad at each other, but get over it the next day because we knew we couldn't stay mad at each other for very long... now its all changed.

now theres someone else in your life. someone better, someone funnier, someone prettier, someone cuter, someone more important than me. she seems like everything you need now. i just wonder if you remember those times, i just wonder if you feel even the tiniest bit of love for me anymore... though i really doubt it. if there's no hope anymore, if you want me completely out of your life, if you want nothing more to do with me, i want you to know that- i'll always always be there for you. maybe not showing on the surface, but in the shadows, in my heart, i'll be rooting for you. i'll be cheering for you till the very end. i'll love you with all my heart even when there's nothing left of it, i'll still care for you with my last breath, i'll still help you through whatever, even if you push me away, even if my hearts in pieces, even if saving you breaks my soul... there will always be a place for you in my heart. always.
***

i'm a sucker for sad love songs. ;)


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