i don't know what to say anymore. there's this rock in my head, blocking everything i've ever known. i'm pushed down by an unknown force, and i can't seem to find my way out of the clouds.
i found this poem a long time ago, somewhere random when i was surfing the net. just wanted to share it with you guys, because its exactly how i feel.
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i think there is a distance between everyone and me, and most people just don't care enoughto try to cross it.
i wish i had the strength to tell you how much i miss you. i wishi didn't spend my time wondering if it would even make a difference. i wish that this was just another fictional story.
papercuts hurt, but at least they're shallow. (i wish this was only a papercut.)
if only i could tell you how sorry i am. if only i could heal my gashes so that you'd never have to suffer with me again.
this is me saying sorry, saying i miss you. this is me trying to cross the distance, trying to open up, again.
this is me. and i'm sorry if it's not what you want.
frm:
http://amertie.deviantart.com/art/papercuts-and-gashes-106274340what have i done, to be pushed away so harshly? i'm stuck, in the cruelness of reality. i'm lost, in the coldness of the dark. i'm shouting, but no one can hear me. i'm falling, but no one can reach me. what do you want me to say? that i'm hurt? you already know i'm hurt. do you want me to tell you i'm angry? you already know that as well. i don't have anything to say. i just want to know when exactly you decided that it was okay if you broke my heart. & i'm done pretending, so here goes: no, i'm not okay with the fact that you broke my heart. no, i'm not okay with the fact we don't talk anymore. and to top it all off, no- i'm not okay with the fact that i fell in love with you in the first place. people tell me to fight for what i believe in.
but how do you fight for someone when they're gone?i think the only reason why people hold onto memories so tight for so long is because memories are the only things that don't change when everything else does. It's always been easier to forgive and forget, and yet we'd take great pains just to see a streak of tear slide down someone's cheek, to see her life fall to pieces. why? after everything, i've only got one question thats always going to be unanswered. why? why do we take so much pain in breaking others? when all is said and done, do we never have just the tiniest bit of regret, of guilt? i just don't understand..
"It's not simple, "Moving on"--everyone makes it seem like its easy to do, but what happens when everything around you reminds you of him? What happens when you can't go a day without thinking what he might be doing this second? What happens before you fall asleep? You wonder what you did wrong, and the reason why it ended? But most of all you tear yourself apart with the question."Does he ever think about me?"
signed, yours truly♥
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Angie here. I have a much much longer name but I'll leave it as it is for the sake of internet safety precautions.
:) 5 things you should know about me: