YOU WERE WARNED.
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mutual weirdness
Saturday, February 28, 2009
3:25 PM
we are all a little weird, and life's a little weird and when we find someone whos weirdness is compatible with ours we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. (:
thats such a cuute quote. love it.
sorry for the short posts lately guys.
signed, yours truly♥
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not just a single drop of tear
Friday, February 27, 2009
9:13 PM
i'm not strong. i'm not tough. i just try. but whenever i try my hardest and it almost seems like its working, you come again. and the waterworks just start all over again.
when will it ever stop?
signed, yours truly♥
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no i wont.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
7:38 PM
yeah jassy, maybe i would want it back. maybe. but as much as i wish for it, as much as i regret it, i wouldn't want it back. it was good, it was awesome, it was everything i'd ever hoped for, and i loved every moment of it. but i couldn't bear if the same thing happened again. i don't think i could be as strong, i don't think i could handle so much anymore. its just all too much. i guess i'm getting better at this. i'm slowly trying to get over it. but the problem is, i don't know how to try. i don't know what to do. i keep it all inside, because no one can possibly understand all this hurt and pain that i feel. everything's all just so complicated. i wish i could go back to the times, when the biggest news was when somebody had better snacks than you. or if somebody borrowed your crayons and forgot to give them back.
i want to go back to the days, when i didn't think much about you. even when you weren't there most of the time, it didn't really matter. when i finally thought that i've gotten over the worst part. when i didn't hate you this much. when i didn't have to know about all of this, even if it was sort of a mistake. when everything seemed it just stood still for those few precious months. wow. what i'd give to go back to those times.
i'm drifting away. i'm falling apart, my world's collapsing. i've got a hole full of troubles ahead of me and i can't stop running. what do you think would be the worst worst worst case scenario? in all catagories?
signed, yours truly♥
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broken heart
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
8:39 PM
whats a broken heart?
empty promises, fallen skies, broken smiles, dark stars.
do people care anymore? its always the same. one heart letting go, one heart holding on...
was everything just for nothing? did i stay up all those nights, staring out at the sky, crying for you, for nothing? however much i try to put on a brave smile in the morning, i can't ignore the pain i feel inside. whats wrong with me? i've got to get over this. i've got to take hold of myself. i should be in control of my heart. not you. but why does it always seem that you have it, and your crushing it bit by bit without even knowing it?
everyone says time heals all wounds. but its been almost half a year, why don't i feel any better...signed, yours truly♥
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never ending cycle
Monday, February 23, 2009
7:42 PM
yep sher you're right. even though i'm not sure what you're talking about. this is not going to end. not soon at least. even though i don't have a part in any of this, it feels like i'm connected. its hard. i can't bear to watch it. but i guess, i'm part of it too. a little.
"I, I wanna feel the rain again
I, I wanna feel the water on my skin
And let it all just wash away in a downpour
I wanna feel the rain, feel the rain
I've been losing days
The shades pulled down
I still can't face the sun."
signed, yours truly♥
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busy busy
Saturday, February 21, 2009
5:37 PM
wow. today's packed.
woke up at 9:30 then went swimming at 10:15. came home at 1pm, ate lunch, went online for like 5 minutes, played piano. at 2:55 i went out again. went to hkis again for bingo. it was soo boring. last year's was so much better. no one was there, and it wasn't really funn. i didn't get anything anyway XPP then at 5pm i came home. in about 15 min i'm gonna go out againn :) VIRTUOSITYY <3 i hope that'll be fun!
at least i get to see: sherise, cheri, joelle, izzy, tiara, nicki, jassy and sophie pu :)) so awesome. HAHAHAHAAHHA AND I GET TO SEE NICKI IN A TUBE TOP. XD i wonder if your allowed to take pictures. or video tape XD therena will be disappointed if we can't. ;p haha.
anyways. tomorrow's packed too. at least i won't be bored to death this whole weekend. and i will still be improving on my goal, which is to spend less time on the comp. ahaha. well we'll see. i hope unicef will be fun. argh. and i hope i don't have to sit down for half an hour and listen to people talk canto again. :s
its funny how someone can mean everything to you, yet mean absolutely nothing to them. signed, yours truly♥
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FRIDAY.
Friday, February 20, 2009
9:09 PM
TGIF :) brings back memories.
hahahahaha yesterday was SO SO SO funny, webbing with alister. he thinks i'm a band geek X)
[19/2/2009 PM 7:44:10] Alister says:
hahaha
[19/2/2009 PM 7:45:08] Alister says:
i bet lyou have like multi-personality disorder and have one realy realy cool angela personality (who i think im talking to right now) and a geeky nerd band geek angela
i hate you alister. i am NOT A BAND GEEK OR A NERD THANK YOU VERY MUCH. XD i saw his brother. and he doesn't look very much like alister. :s then he was telling me about this really weird thing called OOVOO and alister was going on and on and on about it for like 5 minutes. its pointless really. whats so good about 6 people video call?! :s
She’s so sick of never being good enough,or strong enough. She’s sick of going home everyday, and wishing she was someone else. For once she wants to look in the mirror and be happy for what she sees back. She’s sick of people bringing her down and telling her that she isn’t good enough.signed, yours truly♥
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do you ever think of me
Thursday, February 19, 2009
7:09 PM
sorry for the short posts lately guys. haven't had a lot of time to keep posting. but i promise this will be a long one. things get really complicated sometimes. its inevitable. i hate the fact that everything's different now. i hate the fact that we have to endure so much change, then to find it changing again. the worst thing is that we have absolutely no choice, of it happening, or not happening. and everything's a two-sided thing. then again, we can't seem to blame anyone for this. it is our mistake, and its always us who make it bigger.
it scares the hell out of me knowing i may never get over you. WHY. WHY WHY. is it so hard? every time i see you, i fall in love all over again. maybe not as hard as the very first time, but the feeling's still there. promises. i hate that word. its full of emptiness. why do we make them, when we never keep them anyway? i probably knew it was too good to be true, i just didn't want to believe it. i thought we had something real, for once. unlike you, i can't just forget what we had. i can't forget the times we spent together. and i won't forget all those empty promises you made. sometimes the person you really need is the person you didn't think you wanted. maybe somewhere along the line, we started drifting apart, and we slowly started to lose what we had. maybe i just didn't realize how much i needed you until it was too late. it's just the same old story everyone knows, one heart holding on one letting go. so when they kept saying, "you have to fight for what you love," did they also mean you had to fight for what you want, even if it didn't love you anymore... however much i fight, i just can't win. its a useless battle, and i don't even know why i keep fighting.
it’s funny how someone can mean so much to you, yet you mean absolutely nothing to them. sometimes, late at night, i think about everything that we've been through. i look out at the sky and i wonder what your doing right now. its a long shot i know, but sometimes i wonder, if you ever think of me.
every person has two sides to them, one they let the world see and one they keep to themselves.signed, yours truly♥
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complications
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
6:20 PM
dear nicki.
you can't forget about the past. it's just impossible. but you know how hard i'm trying to
move on. give me a little credit for that. at least i'm trying. but it hurts.
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tripping and falling.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
6:21 PM
where are those happy days they seem so hard to find, i try to reach but you have closed your mind.
i need a break. throwing it away felt like i was ripping up my heart into a thousand little pieces and throwing it away for someone else to find. but no one bothers. no one ever bothers. there was this faint piercing sound in my head and my head was spinning. i wanted to cry, but no tears came out. there's just this shadow hanging over me all of the time. i can't bear this anymore. i need distractions, but all i get is more drama. all this turmoil all this unease all these unwanted feelings.
i hate this. why do things have to be so complicated? whats wrong with this world? in the end, i think its just us.
~I’m ready to let go, move on, be happy but there’s always this little shred of "Well maybe he’ll want me tomorrow.” You know what I mean.
~You're the one who held me down through the hard times physically, mentally, body and soul you are mine. The only light that i wanna see so you gotta shine. Hold on and dont let go, i'll be here hands open wide just ask and i will provide, for the rest of my life, we shall never divide, and all the nights that you cried just do this for me baby, hold on and don't let go.
~I'm just a girl, that doesn't like the thought of being alone. i need to be loved & held real close.
~The greatest war ever fought, is the war in the mind of a girl young and in love. Between her mind screaming a warning. Telling her 'theres no such thing as forever.' & her heart quietly whispering, 'you never know...'
~We live in a world of worst case scenarios. we cut ourselves off from hoping for the best, because too many times the best doesn't happen. but every now and then, something extraordinary occurs and suddenly, best case scenarios seem possible. every now and then, something amazing happens and against better judgment, we start to have hope.
~She's just a teenage girl who's sick of it all. she's tired of girls believing stupid lies and cheating boys. she can't stand how everybody's just looking for someone to hurt and how nobody tells the truth anymore. she's just a teenage girl who wants to go back to the old days.
~Sometimes you just feel everything and nothing all at once. sometimes you'll find yourself smiling while missing something at the same time. at times you can absolutely love a person, all the while wanting to hate them. life comes without guarantees.
~I know life can be so hard. it can beat you down, it can spit in your face, it can do just about anything and yet you can't do a thing to prevent it. but i guarantee that one day, you will smile again. you will wake up in the morning and not have to fight the urge to cry anymore. yes, it can take a while- weeks, months, maybe even years. but you will get there, i promise you that.
~She sat in the pouring rain looking toward the sky. she didn't want anyone to know that she was crying for him again.
~I saw you today. i realized how far apart we've grown. i know i should ask how you're doing, but i can't. i wish i could. it occurred to me that we're strangers now, you don't know me anymore. much less want to. everything is so different now.
~She sits in her corner and cries herself to sleep. wrapped up in the promises that no one seems to keep. she no longer cries, no more tears to wash away. just the diaries of empty pages and the feelings gone astray.
i can't seem to find the missing pieces of my heart.
signed, yours truly♥
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FRIENDS FOREVER.not
Monday, February 16, 2009
8:07 PM
JOELLE YOU DIDN'T KEEP YOUR PROMISE. but its okay. i forgive you. considering the circumstances :( i'm not gonna keep my promise either. its terribly hard i tell you. but i hope you forgive me ;)
sighs. it's like a whirlwind, the biggest tornado in the world, and i'm caught up in the middle of it. you guys make it so hard. i want to be neutral, because i can't afford to lose any of you guys anymore. i think i've done enough losing to last this year, at least. i'm supposed to be doing homework, really i should be, but i can't. there's too much on my mind. there's this doubt, this unwillingness, and above all, the guilt. i want you guys to be happy. i want this all to work out, but i guess my desires are just not good enough.
anyways. enough bout that. i hope things will get better soon. ilygsm. thats never gonna change.
short post today sry.
how do we survive in this messed up world of ours? don't worry, we'll find a way my dear, we will.
signed, yours truly♥
messed up
Sunday, February 15, 2009
8:00 PM
happy late valentines.
the dance was going so well. i thought it'd be fine. i guess you just can't expect good things to last.
it's ALL your fault. i hate you so much. things wouldn't have been like this if it weren't for you. your messing up my whole world. i wish i never told you the stuff i did.
these would only be true if i crossed my fingers. i'll never have the courage to hate you. what happened to them just got me thinking about you all over again. i thought i could forget you for just these few hours. but all my effort was in vain. it was, after all, valentines. and then i thought of someone else. and everything i tried to block out just came crashing down, all over again.
why can't i forget about you? why can't i just let go? why can't i move on... i wish you knew. maybe it'd be better. i don't know. it just hurts too much. you don't talk. you don't communicate. you don't even look at me. it's just too much for one to handle. especially since you did it before the summer. i spent the worst summer of my LIFE. do you know how painful that was? the worst thing was, i was all alone. everyone else was on holiday and i was stuck in stupid old hk. i didn't have ANYTHING to distract me. all i could do was think of you. and sit on my bed and cry. i wish you could know all this. i wish that i could take back every thing i said that hurt you. i wish i could have just one more ordinary day with you. and tell you everything that i never had the chance to say to you.
signed, yours truly♥
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what on earth is happening to me.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
7:24 PM
what on earth has happened to me.
i'm sitting here, staring at the screen, and all i can think of is you. my life has turned upside down because of you. i can't sleep at night. but its funny. before, i used to think that i'd give anything to have what we had back. i'd give anything to have the old you back. i'd give anything to have an ordinary day with you. i'd give anything to have you just talk to me. but now, it's different. now i say, i'd give anything to have the ability to let go. i'd give anything to be able to accept the fact that you don't care, and be okay with it. i'd give anything to not care about you so much. i'd give anything to feel okay again. i'd give ANYTHING to be a bit happpier than i am now.
i'm trapped in my own stupid little world of darkness. i can't get out. i don't know how. i'm trying. i know i am. but it never seems to be working. i want to let go. i need to. this is destroying me. but i don't seem to have the courage to. it's buried deep down inside me, and i can't seem to find it anywhere. but i'm done. i'm done hating, i'm done wondering, i'm done chasing. i'm done being trapped. because this hurts. terribly. the worst thing is, i was the stupid one who stupidly fell in love in the first place.
"some people fall in love over and over again. but others just seem to do it once."
signed, yours truly♥
my happy day
Saturday, February 7, 2009
11:10 PM
happy:)
YESTERDAY WAS MY BIRTHDAYYY!!!
ohyeah. so cool right. yes it was very. i'm officially 12, and to tell the truth, it feels awesome :D thanks a billion everyone, for the birthday wishes on fb and at school. i can't count how many times i had to say thankyou XD but it was nice. this was probably the best, but weird birthday i've ever had :) all these people were giving me stuff XPP special thanks to tiara and star for the pens and crayons with quotes on them that took you 2 hours to carve. ;) haha and sophie your little heart is soo cute. and its not crappy. i like:) THANKYOUSOMUCH adrian for the cdd haha i've wanted that for soo long. anyways 'nuff bout that.
OMG I LEFT MY COMPUTER ON THE WHOOLE TIME I WENT OUT. wow. so much for saving energy. :s haha but i had the best time you guys. thanks so much. even though the "surprise" was very very very shocking. i cannot believe you guys did that. but nevertheless, alliss you were right. i do love you guys for that :) and alliss you were soo damn hyper. laughing half the time and doing weird actions :s i had a lot of fun sticky picking and eating at ruby tuesdays :) thanks for the sundae sher, i owe you guys. thanks for the best dayy. THANKS ALLISSA FOR THAT STARBUCKS CUP. BAHAHAHAHA. that was funny. thanks jazzy for your gift too. ilygsm, can't tell you how much you guys mean to me. i couldn't bear to ever live without you guys. you guys can be really lame, hilarious and retarded at some times, but thats just the way you are :D as i said, it's a retarded kind of love.
♥
♥
:( i'm sad now. i can't believe your moving to the U.S jess!!! omg i just can't believe it. its bad enough your in BJ and i'm all the way in HK. :( we're gonna be even further apart now. at least you have a 20% chance of staying. maybe you could convince your parents to let you stay. we never know. but i'm hoping :) i can't tell you how much i miss you. it's been a year and a bit, and i've only ever seen you when we had our singapore meet, but i feel like i've known you forever. you mean so much to me and when i'm down your always there to help me up. never fail to make me feel better :) thanks a bunch for being one of my best friends, and thanks for always being there. ilysm xoxo and i really really miss you.
i hope tomorrow's gonna be fun too :) i'm gonna go watch marley and me with my sis and my dad. can't wait! and i get another birthday cake haha.
"Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear but they turn out the light
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it will be too late...
A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot..."
signed, yours truly♥
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CONCRETE ANGEL <3<3<3<3
Thursday, February 5, 2009
6:56 PM
OHMYFREAKINGGOD.
I LOVE THE SONG CONCRETE ANGEL :)
absolutely love it. seriously. it's so damn good. like no ordinary good. and the singer is so pretty :) in the music video her eyes are so cool. bright blue :)
it describes me. sometimes. but its just really really good. i love it.
i love music:) found so much awesome new songs. oh i have another message today. well three actually.
first:
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR TIARA A.K.A TOFU OR TOE MISO SOUP XD lol your so cute. i hope your fingers get better XPP hope your happier and i hope you have the greatest 12th :) i'm very glad you liked my prezzie and i'm sorry i didn't take the price tag off when i wrapped it. AH-HEM THERENA. thanks for being there when i needed someone the most, and thanks for being an awesome friend. ily forever :) happy birthday. again. XD
second:
i'm really sorry. the easiest thing is just to forgive and forget. i don't get why she keeps changing her mind? i guess its just misunderstanding and miscommunication. i don't know what to do. i want to help. but i just don't know how. i hate being so helpless. i really hope everything works out between you guys. it hurts seeing you guys so apart, its so different from the beginning. but i know you'll work it out. it always does. and you'll be okay. i'm sure of it. i know you guys miss each other a lot, and love each other too. the only thing left now is forgiveness. and apologies. but it takes awhile i know. i just hope it could be back to normal again :) ilygsm.
♥
whatthehell. this is crushing me and the worst thing is that i can't help it. i can't do anything about it. i don't want to care. i don't even want to know. but why do i care? and why do i care a lot? this is really really really frustrating. and i hate it. i hate that i have no control of it. i hate that i feel like crying whenever i think about it. this is just pissing me off. i deserve to be happy after everything. then another rock falls on me. its just not fair. i thing i hate most, is that i fell in love with you in the first place. if i hadn't fell so badly, it wouldn't be this way. if you hadn't decided it was okay to break my heart, it wouldn't be this way. this is just stupid. i know i'm not supposed to be thinking of what ifs and whys, but i can't help it. its just out of my control. and i'm falling all over again.
a broken heart that the world forgot. signed, yours truly♥
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happy birthday guys
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
9:03 PM
i am very very bored, although i still have to practice piano. so freaking scared bout the acid and alkali test tmrw... damn. i hope i get a good score. argh. anyways. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLAIRE AND LETTYYYYYYYY. HOPE YOU HAVE THE AWESOMEST 13TH CLAIRE, AND THE AWESOMEST 12TH LETTY :) ilygsm and i hope you like my prezzie claire :)
and....
its tiara's birthday tmrw!!
short post. bye guys.
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i won't forget you even if i wanted to
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
8:59 PM
i can't help it.
i try to so hard forget, to forgive, to move on. but then when i'm all alone and thinking about nothing, you reappear in my mind, and i start to hurt all over again. i don't think you'll ever be gone from my mind. or my heart. its the strangest thing. how can one person completely forget what they used to have, and leave all the hurting and painful memories for the other to bear? i don't think i CAN forget you. even if i tried my hardest. and believe me, i've tried. even if i wanted to. i couldn't.
even if you never talk to me again. even if we can't go back to what we used to have. or even a fraction closer to it. i'll always want you close to my heart. before, when i was sad and lonely, i used to talk out your letters and read them. it always gave me this warm and fuzzy feeling in my heart :) now that i think of it, i haven't read them in a long time. i guess i am getting a little better at this. i don't worry as much now. and i'm slowly picking up the pieces of my heart, and putting them back together.
where do i search, for the answers im dying for. where do i search, for a place in my heart where nothing can hurt me again. where do i find, the person that you used to be..
signed, yours truly♥
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nothin much
Monday, February 2, 2009
8:42 PM
i'm officially 12....in 4 days!!!
first day of school.
not baad! :)
just finished painting my nails. on my left hand. haha. i gotta go do the other side now. not gonna write much. byeez.
signed, yours truly♥
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back :)
Sunday, February 1, 2009
4:52 PM
3 words. YAYYY. I'M BAAACK!!!
uploading all the pics i took, and all the pics my dad took from our trip to shanghai. real busy haha. waiting for it to upload now.
anyways. something interesting that we did in shanghai was to take sticky pics at this huge mall. there were quite a lot of stalls, but i still think hk sticky pics are better. for one, hk has that bar you can hang on to take a pic. but at least there was a sofa you could sit and lie on in one of the stalls. we didn't take very many, but there were some that i did like :) we also went to this place, called tom's world, sort of like jumping gym except way way wayy bigger. way more games, except some are lamer, i think. and it was packed. its really weird, everywhere we went, there were always sooo many people. :( yeah and you know mainland chinese people, RUUDE. push and shove. geez.
and there were all these tour people. i hate them. take up so much space, and so LOUD. no manners at all.
but i liked our house. it was quite nice in fact. except the wi-fi connection sucked. sooo slow. the wii was good :) the room was okay, except too.. PINK. :/ and frilly. i hate frilly stuff.
YESS YES YES YESS.
my phone finally works now! changed a sim card, but my number's still the same :)
bought 2 new books, chinese, from the mall in shanghai. got a new pencil case haha. and i got tiara and claire a prezzieeeee :)) happy very early birthday guys, i have to say it first to you guys, even though my birthday is only 1-2 days after yours! have a GREAT ONE, you guys deserve it :D i hope you get a skateboard someday tiara XD ooh maybe i could give you mine one day....HAHA NO WAY. joking joking. maybe one day. ;) and claireee my faithful theory buddy. good times, good times :) haha i'll see you at swim training. ILYGSM. ♥
distance is just a test to see how far love can travel.
signed, yours truly♥
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Angie here. I have a much much longer name but I'll leave it as it is for the sake of internet safety precautions.
:) 5 things you should know about me: 
