what on earth has happened to me.

i'm sitting here, staring at the screen, and all i can think of is you. my life has turned upside down because of you. i can't sleep at night. but its funny. before, i used to think that i'd give anything to have what we had back. i'd give anything to have the old you back. i'd give anything to have an ordinary day with you. i'd give anything to have you just talk to me. but now, it's different. now i say, i'd give anything to have the ability to let go. i'd give anything to be able to accept the fact that you don't care, and be okay with it. i'd give anything to not care about you so much. i'd give anything to feel okay again. i'd give ANYTHING to be a bit happpier than i am now.

i'm trapped in my own stupid little world of darkness. i can't get out. i don't know how. i'm trying. i know i am. but it never seems to be working. i want to let go. i need to. this is destroying me. but i don't seem to have the courage to. it's buried deep down inside me, and i can't seem to find it anywhere. but i'm done. i'm done hating, i'm done wondering, i'm done chasing. i'm done being trapped. because this hurts. terribly. the worst thing is, i was the stupid one who stupidly fell in love in the first place.

signed, yours truly♥