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its the last day of februaryyy:(
i loved this month.
haha :D
well except for chinese new year.
that was a bit of a blur.

i've taken a liking to reading chinese books again.
(:
hey, i know i'm a nerd.
and plus. they're really good.
SERIOUS :D

and ohmygod.
my john mayer obsession <33333333333
heavier things is officially my new favorite album.
asdfalsjkdf;alskdjf
split screen sadness
i love love love love love.
his voice
his lyrics
his songss
(:
absolutely brilliant.
andd,
missy higgins <3
shes so amazing. LIVE TOO.
singers who can actually sing. yay :)

"You could feel things or you could find a way to shut down. But once you were feeling things, you couldn’t decide exactly what to feel. That was the trouble with letting them in at all. They made a mess of the place."

"The world seemed to shimmer a little at the edges."

"What should I do about the wild and the tame? The wild heart that wants to be free, and the tame heart that wants to come home. I want to be held. I don't want you to come too close. I want you to scoop me up and bring me home at nights. I don't want to tell you where I am. I want to keep a place among the rocks where no one can find me. I want to be with you."

"You know the best thing about airplanes? Apart from the peanuts in little silver bags, I mean. It's looking out of the windows at the clouds and thinking maybe I could go walking in there. Maybe it's a special place where everything's okay. Sometimes I do go walking in the clouds but it's just cold and wet and empty. But when you look out of a plane it's a special world...and I like it."

"Come clean with a child heart. Laugh as peaches in the summer wind. Let rain on a house roof be a song. Let the writing on your face be a smell of apple orchards on late June."

"Magic can be found in stolen moments."

oh my beautiful quotes :)
signed, yours truly♥

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OMFG.
ONE TREE HILLLLL. ♥♥♥
asdfjas;dlfkja;lsdkjf
the last episode was sooooo freaking good.
another break. :(
until the last four episodes of the season.
season 7 went by soo quickly D:
i don't want oth to enddd!
it's my absolute guilty pleasure.
such a freaking good show.
and i think sherise fan will definitely agree with me :)

OVENBREAK HAS MADE ME OBSESSIVE.
i was thinking about the like "theme song", the music you hear when you click on the app in the homee place and first go into the game; and that was playing in my head all through swim training. -.- how lame HAHAHA.

I'm running out of ways to make you see
I want you to stay here beside me
I won't be ok and I won't pretend I am
So just tell me today and take my hand

Please take my hand
Please take my hand

Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back
It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love

It's so simple and you know it is
You know it is, yeah
We can't be to and fro like this
All our lives
You're the only way to me
The path is clear
What do I have to say to you
For Gods sake, dear

I can feel your heart beat through my shirt
This was all I wanted, all I want
Its all I want

love love love.
and that song was playing over and over again in vietnam. me sitting in the hotel room with nothing to do and plenty to think about. valentinesss ;)

you make my heart go crazy.
and you seem to have that amazing effect on everybody,

including me.
signed, yours truly♥

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bfmv is my life saver.
seriously :)
jt is such an amazing person to recommend it to me, and no jt, i'm not being sarcastic this time x)

i turn the music up as my heart beats painfully and somehow, the crazy beating of the drums soothes the turmoil and i can breathe again. sometimes, musics the only thing that makes sense anymore.

SCHOOL TOMORROW.
call me crazy, i'm excited. well, just not for chinese. or dt. or science. hahahahhahaha wellll. at least everything else makes up for those horrible subjects :D
so,
i'm kind of obsessed with the song snuff by slipknot.
asdfalsdjfa;sldkfja;lsdkfja;slkdfjasdlfasjdf;alsjdf
I LOVE.
AND I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT BELIEVE A HARDCORE METAL BAND LIKE SLIPKNOT HAS AN ACOUSTIC SONG.
hehe.
did i mention this before? i think i have. i remember saying something about it, but oh well. its an amazing song :)

Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again

Deliver me into my fate
If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you
Ooh, my smile was taken long ago.

Angels lie to keep control. <3

i found some amazing quotes last night. and i was reading, sorting through my extremely long document of saved quotes this morning. quotes explain my life better than i do. that's why i love them so much, and i kinda depend on them. you know?

No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater.The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that's the key. It's like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot.
-Sarah Dessen

Well, maybe I'm just too young to keep good love from going wrong,
But tonight you're on my mind, so you never know.
-Jeff Buckley

No person has the right to condemn you on how you repair your heart, because no one knows how much you're hurting.
-Grey's Anatomy

ah greys anatomy <3
meredith and derek asdfas;lkfjas;ldfjasdlfkjasd;fljk
i actually liked addison a little.
but just not her and derek ;)
i don't even watch the whole eps. i just watch recaps of every ep with scenes with them in it hahahaha. i'm lame yeah.
but its so sweeeeeet.
i like the very first ep where she goes, so if i know you, i'll love you.
and he goes, oh yeah. :D
cute huh;)

i make no apologies for how i chose to heal what you broke. ♥

and ohhhh the ep where she almost drowns.
he almost died there.
so desperate to save her ;)
AND THE POST IT XD
yay for love. i'm weird.

signed, yours truly♥
p.s
i miss you,
and i'm so glad your back.
:)

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I'M BACK FROM CAMBODIA.
happy chinese new year to ya'll.

and and
happy valentines ♥♥♥

i've been missing you so much lately. i just can't seem to get you out of my head. and that really is a terrible thing.
bah.
it really is a simple decision, a simple choice, a simple question to my heart. but i can't figure it out. maybe it's because i don't want to. i'm probably just not ready yet. and somehow, i want to at the same time. i'm trying i really am. but whenever i look, there's always a wall. and this wall, it's a strong thing. its not easily broken down, especially not when i put it up in the first place.
i'm trying, i'm trying.
maybe if i tell myself that it'll be easier. i'll find a way.
but what if you start giving up.
i don't know what i'm afraid of anymore.

see this heart won't settle down, like a child running scared from a clown. i'm terrified of what you do, my stomach screams just when i look at you. run far away so i can breathe, even though you're far from suffocating me. i can't set my hopes too high, 'cause every hello ends with a goodbye.

i'll never regret you,
or say i wish that i'd never met you;
because once upon a time-no matter how long ago that was-you were exactly what i needed.

The greatest war ever fought is the war in the mind of a girl, young and in love. Between her mind screaming a warning telling her ' there's no such thing as fairytales' and her heart quietly whispering ' you never know'.

everything changes eventually, that's just the way life is, and you have no control over it. like, suddenly, people who you think are always going to be there. they disappear, you know?

the beautiful thing about memories is that they are yours, whether they are good, bad or indifferent.. they belong to you. & no matter where life takes you, your memories tie you to where you've been.

i guess you're right; i'm afraid. i'm afraid to put my guard down. i'm afraid that if you know who i am, you won't feel the same. and i'm afraid that once my barrier is defeated and i'm comfortable, that you'll walk away.

it's overused. it's cliche. it's corny. it's just a line. it's illogical. it's troublesome. it's always too abrupt. it's never on cue. it's difficult to say. it will be held against you. it's too bold. it's often quite pathetic. it's amazing how, after everything, i love you still works.
^^ i love that one. its so amazingly horribly true.

well,
i actually can't wait for school to start. but i'm sad that holidays are ending. again. here's to a new year guys. seriously.

i fill my head with you and it blocks out all the pain.
signed, yours truly♥

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officially 13.
and 4 days :)
i had the best birthday ever. probably. haha i guess it was nothing special, but i was happy. content. and really that was enough for me.
D2 was funnnn. but i did absolutely horrible.
spent it with the most awesome people though. i havent seen them in ages, i miss it all :(

i love you jackiee van.
even if you are a boob. a lot of the time ;)
and you should really stop making fun of me.
please.
(:
but i still love you.
you know that yeah?
good.

i hope you're reading this.
because you know how i feel.
eyes ;)

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MY BIRTHDAY IN TWO DAYS :))
13.
wow.
hahaha one step closer to adulthood. but really, being a kid is so much better.
crappers. i've got some tv shows to catch up on. one tree hill, miobi, life unexpected and last weeks ep of vampire diaires.
i wanna watchhhhhhhhh,
but my moms a boob and won't let me.
at least she doesnt ban me on the computer. thats a relief.

I'm lifting wishes to the stars
Their gleaming satellites of time
Orbiting circles overhead
To futures when your love is mine

But you were always pretty reckless with your love
Come with the sun and getting restless when it's gone
And when you go you leave me breathless and alone
You leave me breathless when you close the door
It feels just like you took the air out of the room with you

All words converge to where you are
And if I follow I will surely find
The horses gone the fire still warm
And you've moved on an hour before
You like to keep me just one step behind.

i am addicted to that songg. absolutely beautiful :)
and and and i love you to bits too may huang.
:D

you have an amazing way of making me smile and laugh effortlessly. its a natural instinct, falling. in your presence, nothings the same. you make my head spin but i feel safe. you reach out and grab on tight, never letting go; it amazes me how fast i'm giving in.
signed, yours truly♥

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times when you never notice.
times when i try so hard, but somehow it just doesn't work.
times when i do everything i can,
times when i hurt when you hurt.
times when i'm always there. right beside you,
seems like i'm always one step behind.

times like these.

hey lucy i remember your name.

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